Tales From Sirca Chapter 6: Old Wounds

"So, where you from, bumpkin," Samson spoke up from assembling a Battle Rifle, causing me to look at him over the scope of my sniper.

Ever since I'd called him ‘little guy' or whatever he hadn't really ever spoken to me, let alone wanted to know anything about me. I laid down the rifle and brushed my hands on my black combat skin.

"I'm from Sampi," I responded coolly.

"No shit? Heard it's bitter cold out there."

"Ah, you get used to it. You live cold long enough and you don't even feel it anymore. Nothing beats a good go through the snow."

"A harsh environment with thriving communities," I flinched at the suddenness of Aries' voice, I whipped my head around, and there he stood leaning against the armory doorway. "I've been a few times myself."

The commander closed the door and strode over, before lowering himself to the ground and reclining. I averted my gaze; only now did I realize how much his jumpsuit didn't leave much to the imagination as it hugged him fairly tight.

I'm never going to be able to unsee that.

"What's it like out there, why'd you come out into the jungle? Surely a thick coat like yours sucks to have out here."

"I left because I had to. Not because I wanted to."

"Waddya mean?"

I sighed, "Do you mind if I tell you a story?"

"Not at all, it'll help the work go faster."

"Hm," Aries looked at me through half-lidded eyes, "A chance to learn about my Stray? How could I pass up on the opportunity?"

I took a deep breath; I hadn't ever told anyone about why I left. Nobody cared about or ever even asked before.

Here goes.

---

"Mr. and Mrs. Willar, surely you understand why I'm concerned for Icarus," Sheriff Mattews motioned a hand toward me, the greying navy blue chupa furrowed his brow at my mother and father. "I caught his ‘friends' rolling him down the big hill by the abandoned shack in a tire, smacked straight into my cruiser. I understand fun is fun but it's still vandalism and I can only imagine what else they might talk him into doing."

I sat quietly kicking my feet in my chair between my mother and father.

"Rus," I fought the feeling and lost looking my rather disappointed father in the eyes, his blue eyes framed by his completely grayed-out fur and short mane "That true? You hanging out with those boys again?"

My mother, on the other hand, just awkwardly adjusted her scarf covering her mouth. Her brown eyes averted, and her sky-blue fur tipped with frost in some areas, I could only imagine that meant she had to call out early from work. In fact, her brown coat and pants were soaked in the area from the snow.

I looked away and down at my intertwined hands, "Y-yes."

"Rus, you know how your mother and I feel about them. Seriously, especially that boy Ken."

My mother didn't see an issue with me hanging around with boys my own age. She knew that no matter how hard she tried to keep me out of trouble it would find anyone, she thought it would be safer to face trouble as a group rather than alone.

"His name is Kris-"

"Icarus. I told you not to talk to him anymore, he got you expelled. You're forbidden from talking to them, you hear?"

I stared harder at my hands, I didn't want to look at my dad I knew he was making a disappointed face and I didn't want to look at it.

"Icarus."

"Yes, sir," I grumbled with my head down.

"Clyde, I'm sorry about this," I watched my father stand up and shake hands with the Sheriff, "You know how it is sometimes."

Sheriff Mattews chuckled and let us leave. The car ride home was virtually silent, and dinner was even quieter. It wasn't like I couldn't understand why my dad was angry, any parent would be upset if their teenage son got arrested. It especially bugged me that the entire time my mother never said a word in my defense. But he was being obtuse, nobody got hurt so what was the big deal. Kristoph had been my bully for a decent majority of my childhood. Always trying to one-up me, kick my ass, take things from me, and worst of all humiliate me for my height. At least, that's how it was when I was a little kid- Well, I was still short, but he'd mostly become my friend. A fact that my father refused to believe, he still believed that Kris was the bully he'd known long ago. This wasn't going to stop me, I considered myself a rebel at the time and we already had plans- Tonight was the last time I was gonna subject myself to a tirade from my father. This had been a long time coming and was something that I had been planning for months, this was just the final straw.

I sat up from my bed, snatching my worn brown coat off the floor and getting to my feet. I threw on a white sleeveless shirt and pushed myself into some thick black snow pants before slipping on the coat. I rummaged through my bedside dresser pulling out a duffle bag, packing a few outfits, and throwing a flashlight in. With a sharp zip, I closed the bag and lumbered over to the door, stopping when my hand gripped the knob. In the moment I had nearly thrown the bag down and back went to bed, but instead, I walked back over to my bedside and shut off my lamp before going back over to the door. I slowly twisted and cracked open the door peeking out. From where I was standing, even though it was dark I could see that my parents' room door was shut, the kitchen was dark and the living room and dining room were dark. I broke cover from behind my door and stepped quickly and quietly across toward the door. I was maybe five steps away when I was illuminated and my shadow cast on the wall next to me.

"Icarus Willar- where are you going at this time of night," I turned slowly to face the source of the voice. My mother. Sat on our couch next to her table lamp she hadn't taken off her work clothes quite yet. Her tone was not judgmental, but she looked serious.

I couldn't lie to her while she was looking me in the face, "I'm leaving. I don't really know if or when I'll be back."

"Well, I can't stop you."

"Don't try to- wait what? You're just going to let me go?"

I was astonished, I knew my mother was lenient, but this was- Well, something I couldn't have predicted. I wasn't sure what I'd expected but that wasn't it.

"Yes."

I turned, moving for the door once more.

"Surely you aren't going to just head out into the night like that. There's a blizzard out there."

I faced her once more to reassure her that I would be fine but was met with a scarf being wrapped around the lower half of my face, she then pulled my arms and outstretched my hands putting her gloves on my hands and tying them tight. Now half of my mind didn't want to leave, she took a hat and pulled it down tight over my head tucking my wild mane into it, so it fits better. I looked up at my mother, every memory of running out and playing in the snow flooded my mind. Everything I had done with her. Every igloo, every snowball fight, the last hunting trips we'd gone on. I was lost in a misty-eyed reminiscence until she placed something in my hands, I snapped out of my daze.

In my hands sat a very familiar object, it was a little beat up but that just gave it character. A wooden-framed bolt-action rifle rested in my hands, my mother's hunting rifle. A rifle that she'd owned since before I was born and she was handing it off to me, I couldn't take this.

"This," I swallowed hard to steady my voice, "This is your rifle, I can't take this."

"You're going to need something to keep you safe out there," My mother walked away from me before coming back with small ammo boxes and stuffing at least four into the bag that I saw, "Think of it as a memento, or me watching over you through the ol' Snowpiercer."

I threw the rifle strap over my shoulder, but I couldn't just leave. With a step forward and a small grunt of surprise from her, I gave my mom one last hug. That's when the gravity of what I was about to do set in, this could be the last time I see her. Never catch the scent of motor oil and the floral perfume she would try to hide it under. Never seeing her roll her eyes at my bad jokes. Never hearing about what happened at the shop this time.

Once again, the feeling of not wanting to leave gnawed at me.

"Just let me know when you'll be back so we can cook something for ya, okay?"

"Yeah. That sounds like a plan."

Reluctantly, I broke away from the warm embrace and walked out into the dark freezing clutch of the blizzard outside. About ten meters away from the front porch a car sat idling in the collecting snow, I wasted no time rushing over and hopping in the passenger seat setting in and putting the rifle across the dashboard. I looked over at the chupa sitting in the driver seat who was certainly dressed much lighter than I was and in a better mood. A smile sat on the face of the green chupa, with excitement in his blue eyes.

Kris didn't even seem to notice my distress even if it was mild, "Is that a rifle? I knew your folks were rednecks but wow. Why'd you bring it?"

"Just to be safe," I responded slumping into the seat, "Can't be too careful, Kris."

"Ah, you worry too much. Let's get going. Take the map out of the glove box, would you?"

"What's the plan?"

"I have an uncle that'll let us stay in his place out in Stigma, he works for the military. You might like him."

I frowned; he knew how much I hated the military. In fact, every time the recruiters would come by, we would heckle them until they left throwing insults and calling them rather inappropriate names. Another fun thing my father greatly disapproved of. I reached down, popped open the glove compartment, grabbed the map, and unfolded it placing it on the dash.

"Hey, you look tired," He finally began to pull off taking a quick glance at the map as the car accelerated, "You can rest up for a little, it's gonna be a long drive."

I didn't offer any more words, to the credit of his observation I was worn out. So, I complied and closed my eyes just trying to get comfortable in the seat.

"Aw, no! Fuck!"

I jolted awake to the shout and a gust of freezing air, Snowpiercer had fallen off the dashboard into my lap and the driver's side door was wide open. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, cradled the rifle, and stepped out into the storm being nearly blinded by the deafening darkness and whirlwind of flurries. I could actually still see a good few feet in front of me but past that was a void of swirling greys and black. I leaned back inside the car and fished my flashlight out of my bag before walking around to the front of the car. I clicked on the flashlight to find Kris trying to push the car from the driver's side, now that I had a better look the entire car was dipped to the side on that side.

"What happened," I asked trying to ignore the cold feeling creeping up my body.

He gave up on pushing and kicked the fender, "Damn thing is in a ditch. I could grab my shovel but it's snowing too much for us to dig it out."

"What are we gonna do?"

"Just got to hunker down and set camp for the night, I got a tarp in the trunk. It's a little too windy to fully set up a tent or anything like that we could get a fire going near the car to stay warm until this dies down."

"I could pact down some solid snow walls to keep the wind away."

"I- actually didn't think of that. Let's gather some wood first, doesn't have to be too big just big enough to burn."

I tightened my grip on my rifle and stared at the spot where he had been standing a moment ago, I knew wandering around the tundra in the dark was dangerous. There were too many things that could happen. An injury, animal attack, getting lost, or even just freezing to death. But I trusted Kris, I had to.

"Hey," Kris patted the side of my muzzle and for a moment the cold faded away, "Don't start spacing out on me, visibility is... Roughly like twenty feet. Stay close and don't get separated, okay Icarus?"

I was only glad the scarf still covered most of my face, he couldn't see the stupid grin on my face.

He let go and I nodded, "I got it. I'll cover you."

He twirled a large ax in his other hand, unknowingly returning my smile.

"Right then, let's make it quick."

We set out in a straight line away from the car, trudging through the, for me, knee-deep snow. Kris led with the flashlight, and I scanned our surroundings with the barrel of my rifle, eyeing every shadow suspiciously. My feet felt like they were made of ice. I swore I could feel the wind cutting through my clothes, numbness tingled in my digits as every time I raised the iron sights to my eyes the sight trembled.

"Whoa," Kris slowed shining the light on a tree he was passing.

I tightened my grip on the rifle, the tree he was looking at had the bark absolutely shredded away. I couldn't see the discarded bark so it couldn't have been recent, but I knew it could only mean one thing.

Bear.

"We should hurry," I urged giving him a nudge and he returned to his prior pace.

There was a new level of fear in my mind now, there was a crawbear in the vicinity potentially. By this point, we had arrived in a circle of trees where the snow was relatively low, almost below the ankle. I kept my finger on the trigger, hoping he would hurry up and find a tree to hack bits off of. I glanced down at the bolt and gently maneuvered it back enough to check if there was a round loaded, the brass glinted back at me reassuringly in the low light. It was fully loaded.

"Hold up, this one right here is good," Kris passed the flashlight off to me and ran up to a rather short fir and started chopping away at the low-hanging branches.

I pointed the flashlight at the tree, but I could feel something, from the dark behind me but didn't dare turn the light away from him. The last thing we needed was for him to harm himself with the ax. I fought my instinct as everything shouted at me to look around with the light, but I remained where I was, he'd already lopped off enough wood.

"Kris, you got enough-"

There was a thundering commotion behind me I whirled around, rifle up. I pulled the trigger blasting off a round into the sky as a large brown mass of fur bowled me over, knocking the wind out of me, throwing me to the ground, and more importantly jostling the rifle from my hands. The flashlight clattered to the ground illuminating my attacker. I slammed into the snowy forest floor on my stomach, the only thing on my mind was the rifle. For a few moments, only the muted sound of ringing filled my head, but my senses were dialed in now. I saw it laying only a few feet away and made a scrambling crawl for it, something pinched my coat and I cried out before I was roughly dragged and thrown in the opposite direction. This time I landed on my back losing my hat and scarf in the process, but the bear was upon me roaring as it thundered over just as quickly with teeth aimed at my head. I scooted back in a frenzy, able to move my head away from its closing maw but it took a hold of my coat collar and a bit of my shoulder.

I yelled in pain; my whole body felt like it was on fire, and the cold was the least of my concerns.

With a yank it jerked my body to the side like I didn't weigh a thing before starting to violently thrash about like it was trying to pull my shoulder off slobbering all over the place clawing me the whole time, I took my free hand and threw punches until one connected with what I think was its eye. The bear reared up and I scrambled backward on my elbows, I didn't get far. It came down and latched its mouth onto my thigh, pain gripped my whole body and all I could do was yell as it began dragging me. In a last-ditch effort to protect me, I rolled onto my stomach and flattened myself to the ground. The bear wasted no time biting into my shoulder and giving it a violent shake before taking vicious swipes at my back, with each claw raking my body I could hear fabric tear under the aggressive roars. A heavy-handed scratch landed on my shoulder before I was bitten on my lower back and almost flipped over.

"Hey," I glanced up and spotted my friend with his ax held over his head, he yelled but I could hear the waving fear in his tone.

He reared back and launched the ax, it sliced through the air and connected with my attacker causing it to stagger away from me. It changed focus and aggroed onto him.

"Oh, fuck. Fuck!"

He took off and it took off after him. I mustered all my strength and crawled through the snow until my hands found Snowpiercer, it was undamaged to my joy. I turned over with a head full of steam, rechambering the rifle, and glanced around with the sight up to my eye.

Kris tried to dart between trees but was cut off. The lumbering beast shoulder charged, sending him careening through the air and slamming hard through a sapling and into the base of a tree's trunk, his head seemed to bounce off and he slumped his head down.

I sighted the bear's head and squeezed the trigger, it shuddered and whipped around. I rechambered and fired once more, only seeming to anger it as it lumbered over slower than before.

But I was pissed off too.

I slammed the bolt back and forth cranking off another round, striking the bear blowing off a chunk from its skull causing it to drop to a sliding halt just feet away. The ringing faded away completely now, I forced myself to take deep breaths. My breath billowed thicker and thicker in the air as I regained control of my breathing. The clearing was silent. Only the now distant seeming sound of wind swirling and branches shuddering in the cold. I chambered the last round and got to my feet approaching the fallen creature, even though its skull was blown open at the top. I could still hear it huffing feverishly, no doubt in pain and no doubt it would bleed out. I planted my foot on its neck and unloaded one more into its head just to make sure it stayed dead, as well as to put it out of its misery. The surrounding snow was painted in speckles and puddles of dark crimson illuminated by the flashlight that lay in the snow.

"Kris," I shouted but it only came out as a hoarse whisper, "K-Kris!"

I charged across the clearing kicking up snow as I closed in on him, the closer I got to him the more I didn't want to look at him. Closing the distance, it was obvious that something was very wrong. My balance betrayed me, and I came crashing to my knees. Blood ran from the corners of his mouth and from his nostrils pouring onto his jacket and the snow that began to pile in his lap, I glanced at the tree he was propped up against. More blood ran down it, dyeing the shoulders of his jacket a sickly rust red. His eyes shut. Refusing to believe that he could be... I shook my head and placed it against his chest. A fluttering heartbeat met me with ragged, soft breathing from the green chupa, the rise and fall of his chest was virtually unnoticeable.

"D...d'ya kill it," He whispered.

"Yes," For a moment my heart soared a little, before considering the condition he was in. He needed to be saving his strength. "Don't try to talk too much, I need to get you back to the car and out of the cold."

"I'm... I'll be fine. Y...should grab the wood n... I'll set fire..."

"Dammit, stop talking."

I carefully lifted his head away from the tree, pulled his parka hood up on his head, and slowly maneuvered him to lay flat in the snow.

"Comfortable?"

"Always."

His sense of humor was still intact and that was a good sign. I darted back across the clearing finding my hat and scarf, and putting them back on before collecting the cut branches and the flashlight. With the flashlight in my mouth and pointed forward, I grabbed Kris by the scruff of his parka and began to drag him back.

His fists were balled up when I had started as if it were some last act of defiance. When we reached the car, his hands were bloody from what I assumed was how tightly he did so. I could faintly see the trail of blood that he'd left behind. He must have bled out while we were making our way back. I gently laid him in the snow, I wasn't new to death, but it didn't stop it from hurting.

I dropped the sticks and let the flashlight drop. This wasn't how this was supposed to go, nobody was supposed to get hurt. For sure, nobody was supposed to die.

But here you are Icarus, stranded in the fucking tundra with your friend's blood literally on your hands. How did I fuck this up so bad?

"It doesn't even matter anymore," I looked up at the sky and began to do the thing I was taught to never do as a child. I pulled down my scarf and placed the barrel in my mouth, my heart pounded in my chest.

There was absolutely no way I could get back anywhere from here, nobody knew where I was, and nobody would ever come looking for me. Kris was dead because of me; we wouldn't have been out there if it wasn't for me. I should have listened to my feelings back when I was still at home and could change my mind, but if I was going to die, I wasn't going to slowly freeze to death- I control my own destiny.

I took one last deep breath and pushed the trigger with my thumb and flinched at the deafening click, confusion instantly struck me.

"Huh?"

I flipped it back around and pulled back the bolt-

The rifle was void of ammunition; I began to remember. I had used all five rounds to kill the crawbear, in the same moment another realization began to force its way into my head.

I didn't want to die. I don't want to die.

"I'm not gonna fucking die here," I growled feeling new energy surge through me.

I opened the car door and laid the rifle in the driver's seat before coming around to the trunk and popping it open, I returned to Kris' body with his shovel and tarp. I laid his legs out straight and crossed his arms, then carefully wrapped him up in the tarp feeling the cold starting to bite hard but I was committed now. I began digging, by this point my hands were numb but I kept at it until I deemed the hole adequate and put my friend's body in before covering him up. Back to the car I went, fishing the tent rope out of the trunk and slamming it closed for the last time as I walked back over to the now grave and used a portion of the rope to tie two of the sticks together planting it in the snow to mark the grave.

---

"I'm just lucky the damn thing was empty when I pulled the trigger or," I trailed off looking at the discomfort on Aries' face. "I didn't burn the firewood that night, kept the heat on until the car's battery burned out in the morning. I stuck to the road and walked to Qoppa."

"I'm sorry for your loss," That was the second time he said he was sorry, something he'd said only once before to me and something I thought I'd never hear from the ordinarily stoic chupa. "But it is very impressive that you managed to kill a crawbear and walk that far while injured."

Samson huffed, "I'll say. I wouldn't dream of trying that. Say, you were an assassin, right?"

"Well, yeah. I had started not long after I arrived in Qoppa, floated between there and Stigma before I got myself a place in Episemon. Shitty apartment, but still a place to keep my shit- Oh no. No! I haven't been there in a while my old stuff is there-"

"I can send some people to go get your stuff, you can tell me where later."

"Back to what I was sayin', I gotta know who your first hit was."

I shook my head; it was a long time since the last time I had even spoken Kristoph's name. A feeling that washed over me, something I didn't like the feeling, guilt.

I put on a smirk, "Maybe next time Samson. I think you'll like Snowpiercer. She's a one-of-a-kind rifle."

"Sounded like it. Not many people go with the classics."

"Can't beat the tried and true, my mom knew that."

Red vs Blue © Rooster Teeth. Halo © 343 Industries. Concept by Myshu, assisted by The Department of Chupapology.