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Tales of the Restless

by W0lfspy1337

Tale 1 | Tale 2

Short story of Caboose and Krainen


The blues sat around the fire, Tucker was cooking the last of the sausages they had stolen from an outpost a couple days ago as Church napped by the warmth of fire, Caboose was doing a sort of patrol prowl around the campsite as they were deep in the forest. “Dude what the fuck are you doing?” Tucker asked, Caboose looked at him “someone has to keep watch in the scary forest! They say the Restless lives here!” He whispered loudly at tucker who just rolled his eyes “not this again Caboose, krainen is just some stupid story parents tell their kids at night to make them behave!” He sighed “nuh-uh! She’s real and she’s mean! And really sad....” Caboose curled up by the fire, giving Tucker his best puppy dog eyes to have the first sausage. “I’m sorry, did you like, meet this person? Or someone who told you they were the Restless. Because I could believe that at least....” he said and gave the sausage to Caboose who happily scarfed it down and began to tell Tucker about what sounded more like a nightmare or fever dream.



Caboose was a young child. His parents Katharine and John, had decided that morning to go to the local mall, they weren’t the best or happiest family but were going to at least try and make things better, starting with a family day at the mall. Caboose was excited to go, it had been a long time since the three of them had gone, especially without having a huge fight first. Caboose was the first up and jumped on his parents bed to wake them. John was a groggy and rather cranky person in the morning who simply grumbled and rolled over, holding his pillow over his head and Kathrine giggled and hugged Caboose. “Good morning my little sunshine” she said as caboose vibrated with excitement “we don’t want to be late! If we’re late they’ll close early!” He said as she got up “it’s ok Michael, we’ll make it, plus they don’t open for another thirty minutes, we have some time.... time to get your father out of bed” she said and gently shook his shoulder. He grumbled again but slowly sat up “yeah yeah I’m up.... get me a drink won’t you Michael?” He asked half awake.

Caboose ran off and pulled a glass bottle from a box by the fridge, Katharine had emerged by now and was no longer in her pyjamas but in her usual street clothes. She was an officer of the city’s police but had the day off. Caboose soon returned to his father and handed him the bottle, he took it and shook his head “no no, one from the fridge, nice’n cold you see” he said and caboose scampered off again. He would also get up and dressed while he was on his own and soon walked out as there was a smash and a Yelp from caboose “dad! The bottle jumped off the rack again! And the rack did too!” He called and John sighed “what, again!?” He growled and came out to see that the front of the drink rack had indeed fallen off the fridge door again and a beer lay smashed on the floor. “Go help your mother with breakfast I’ll clean this up...” he grumbled and grabbed some paper towels and the broom. Caboose went and helped his mother make breakfast. Bacon sizzled in the pan and caboose got to try the new waffle press they had just bought the other day. In all the commotion the missed the radio telling people to be alert as a wanted individual had been sighted in the area.

After breakfast and cleaning and a lot of swearing at the fridge, they soon headed out to the car and would make their way to the mall. The mall opened shortly before their arrival as they had gotten stuck in in traffic. After parking they walked in and started the day there at the amusement park in hat was within the mall. Caboose had gone on several rides with both John and Katherine, with both of them on a few rides as well, it was going well. After spending he first half of the day in the amusement park, lunch time was rolling around and they stopped in a food court to get something to eat. On a nearby stage a priest from the house was setting up to do some kind of sermon or to simply preach the teachings of the house, as they often did. Caboose leaned into his mother’s side as they watched from their seats as the priest began to speak

“welcome friends, and thank you for choosing to be part of today’s sermon” the priest began and started to preach his lessons. As he spoke, someone with a rather bushy tail carrying a duffel bag appeared on the side of the stage and approached. One of the two guards there with the priest put a hand up “ma’am this area is for house use current, please step awa-“ he was cut off as the person in question produced a pistol and shot the guard, then double tapped the other one before he could react. The priest tried to make a break for it but another gunshot later he tripped as he’d been hit in the leg, the attacker approached and lowered her hood, revealing a long thin, dark grey muzzle, shaggy grey hair and two pointy ears atop her head.

She grabbed the priest and forced him onto his knees, he wailed in pain “you gather here today to be spoon fed lies by the church of a false god that cares not for you..... a church who pits its people against each other, teaching them it’s ok to be so eager to spill one another’s blood, for what? A glorious afterlife after an existence ridden by suffering and blood shed?” She snarled “the House lies to your faces as they say the care about you. you, the soldiers of the red and blue armies, you are nothing more then a means to a bloody end and Omega doesn’t even know who most of you are....” she bared her fangs. The priest whimpered and prayed quietly to himself before looking at the crowd “do not heed the words of the demon Krainen! She only seeks our destruct-!” He was also cut off as she then executed him mid sentence, for all to see.

As chupas began to panic and flee, Katherine looked at John and Caboose who were in shock and struck by terror. “John.... get Michael out of here, I have to make an arrest,” she said and drew the compact service pistol she always had with her. “Kat, she’ll kill you, that’s the Restless, the same bitch who’s been terrorizing the rest of the ring for almost a year now! We have to get out of here!” He pleaded, but his wife was stubborn. She shook her head “other police will be here soon, I have to do this, it’s my job John, now get Michael out of here”, she said and did her best to sneak toward the stage. It seemed Krainen had not noticed her until she raised her weapon “don’t move! Drop the gun and put your hands behind your head!” She ordered. Krainen looked at her with an almost entertained look and dropped the pistol. “Good, now get on your knees and do not resist arrest” she said and approached. Katherine with her free hand took out a set of cuffs and went to grab and cuff Krianen wrists. She had no idea what Krainen was capable of as Krainen jerked herself to the side and spun, swinging her leg out and catching Katherine in the side of her knees causing her to fall. Katherine hit the ground with a thud and Krainen was on top of her, wrapping both hands around her throat and started to ram her head into the floor of the stage.


John witnessed this and looked at caboose “Michael, I need you to stay here ok bud? I have to help your mother...” he said and Caboose nodded slowly “make the scary mean lady go away” he said as John turned to the stage. “Yeah, I will, I love you son, you’re meant for great things one day,” he said and dread filled him on his approach. By the time John would reach the stage he got there to see Krainen wrestle the pistol from Katherine’s hand, turn and level it with her face and BANG!

Katherine’s body twitched and became limp. John stood there in shock, Krainen had just taken his wife, whom he had fought with almost constantly but never had he wished ill of her. He couldn’t stand there and do nothing, he acted before he really thought and charged the restless. She of course heard him coming with a flick of her ear and turned, he was too close to easily use the pistol on so she waited for him to swing, catch and lift his wrist, twist it until it cracked and knees him hard in the stomach. He doubled over and Krainen stood over him “what a shame.... at least you’ll be together I suppose...” she said and before John could say anything, she shot him three times in the chest. Caboose who was now scarred and confused watched in horror as both parents were seemingly asleep and Krainen stood over them, other members of the house who had been hiding among the masses were starting to emerge now and before Caboose knew it, she was right in front of him. He yelped as she grabbed him and held him between herself and the approaching HADES agents switching between shooting at agents and holding caboose as a hostage. That was until she managed to hole up in a office room. She pushed a desk in front of the door and looked at caboose with a sigh “this really isn’t your day is it kid?” She said and opened the bag, pulling out several dull grey bricks and some other odds and ends that Caboose didn’t know what they were for. She turned to him and started to put a vest onto him that held the strange grey bricks. Their eyes met for a moment, she saw the fear and confusion and something she couldn’t quite place in Caboose’s eyes, and Caboose in turn saw the pain and rage and a deep sadness in hers “this world is cruel kid, it’s violent and messy and real fucked up out there.... and all you can do is do as they say and die pointlessly, or know the truth and be erased for it... do me a favour and try not to end up like me kid...” she said and pad locked the vest closed. “Now you and I are going to play a little game alright? You’re going to hold this button down, and if you let it go, you lose, when those agents outside find you, I want you to give it to them and says it’s there turn alright?” She asked and Caboose nodded and she placed a detonator in his hands and made him hold it. “So long kid.... good luck out there...” she said and jumped out the office window.

Caboose stood there, alone and confused, all thoughts he had were interrupted as the HADES agents managed to break down the door and push passed the desk, these ones were equipped for a fight and spotted him “the kids in here!” One called and caboose started towards them, holding up the detonator “she said to give this to you” he told them and they in turn raised their guns “stay there kid, keep hold of the button, ok?” One of the told him as they started to fan out and approach him “she said to give it to you!” Caboose insisted but they held firm “hold it kid, she’s tricked you” the agent said as one of them got closer with a set of wire cutters “she’s locked it” he said and fidgeted with some of the components on the vest. “Who the fuck rigs a kid like this?” One of the others asked “the Restless and her fanatics, that’s who...” the first said and carefully began to approach Caboose “just hang onto that button kid, we’re gonna get that thing off of you” he said as a chupa with a set of bolt cutters came up and started to break the lock off.

As Krainen fled, disappearing into the subways beneath the city, she pulled out a device that would let her know if the vest was tampered with. She sighed as it beeped “Nothin personal kid....” she said and took out and pushed her own detonator. Back inside the office the vest began to beep as they were pulling it free from Caboose. One of the HADES soldiers saw this and grabbed the vest, diving out the window where it exploded a moment later. The windows shattered, the structure shook and a section of the floor collapsed, claiming another agent as they managed to grab and pull caboose to relative safety. Caboose was barely responsive for a long time after that, after the house gave him to the blue army. There he would be raised alongside others who had been given up or left without homes and grow into young soldiers for the blues. Due to his unique personality issues though he would be transferred many times before they eventually dumped him into the most remote spot they could think of.



At the fire, Tucker sat there “Caboose.... I don’t think you should try snatch again... the only reason someone that off the rails would spare you and not beat you to death with your own skull is because you are just that dense!” He said. Caboose looked at him “hey! That’s not nice! I’ll tell Church!” He protested “go right ahead, he won’t fucking believe you either!” Tucker replied and bit into the sausage he’d made before sighing and shaking Church with his foot “hey fat ass, foods cooked, die on your own time...” he said and Church grumbled as he sat up, where Caboose would relive the tale again to Church, much to Tuckers dismay.


Red vs Blue © Rooster Teeth. Halo © 343 Industries. Concept by Myshu, assisted by The Department of Chupapology.

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